He's Never Going To Love You Like I Want To
by nibblexmyxnaan
Summary: Aaron and Jackson are in an established relationship and things are rosy but soon someone comes along and tries to lure Aaron away. Will they succeed? Before Crash. Final part up! Love to all ye amazing people who have read the story!x x
1. Chapter 1

'He's Never Going To Love You Like I Want To'

Part One

My first multi-chapped fic. Please review and tell me if it's shooite or not.

Aaron looked up as Adam made his way across the room, a bright smile plastered across his face.

'What you drinking mate?' he shouted from the bar.

Aaron shook his head and raised the pint in his hand, indicating that he already had one.

Adam grinned and nodded, turning around to Diane, ordering his own drink. Jackson raised his eyebrows and half smiled.

'I wonder what he's so happy about.'

Aaron nodded in agreement.

'Mmm…'

'He didn't offer to buy me a drink I noticed, not that I'm complaining or anything but would have been nice to have been asked…' Jackson joked, a twinkle in his eyes.

'Shut up, you twat.' Aaron snapped, rolling his eyes.

Jackson laughed and placed a quick peck on Aaron's shoulder.

'I think once I'm finished this pint I'll head back home.'

'To Hotten?' Aaron asked, sounding disappointed.

Jackson nodded.

'Is that okay?' he asked in a bemused manner.

Aaron shrugged and swallowed a mouthful of beer.

'Well… yeah, if you have to. Would be nice if you could stay though…' he said awkwardly.

Jackson grinned widely and winked at Aaron.

'Tomorrow night I'll make it up to you, promise mate.' He said with lust barely disguised in his voice.

'Promise what?' Adam asked as he sat down on the other side of Aaron.

Aaron blushed and started fiddling with his beer mat whilst Jackson suddenly answered a text.

Adam rolled his eyes and smirked.

'All right, the look on your face Aaron says it all… I don't want to know.' Adam laughed.

Aaron blushed even deeper and took another mouthful of his drink.

'How are you Jackson?' Adam asked, a much more icy tone to his voice.

Jackson frowned in bewilderment and gave Adam a lopsided grin.

'Good mate, thanks. And you?'

Adam ignored him and turned back to Aaron.

'So, Scarlett's out of town for a week.' He announced with glee.

Aaron raised an eyebrow and smiled uncertainly.

'Aren't you supposed to be devastated that's happened? Moping around like a prat, wondering what you're going to do without a whole week without the love of your life?' he demanded.

Adam laughed and rested his hand on Aaron's knee, a move that Jackson noticed immediately.

'No way mate! Freedom at last! Me and you, we're going out and we're going on the pull.' He decided.

'Uh hello, boyfriend right here!' Jackson intervened.

Aaron smiled at Jackson reassuringly, telling him with his eyes that he has nothing to worry about.

Adam threw Jackson a dirty look and turned back to Aaron.

'Okay, not the real pull. Just chat some blokes and birds up, see how many numbers we can get. A bit of fun is all!'

Aaron smiled and nodded.

'Sure, sounds like a laugh. What day?' he asked, ignoring Jackson's little 'Hmph' of indignation.

'Say tomorrow night? You good then?' he asked excitedly.

Aaron smiled shyly and shook his head.

'No…um… Jackson and I have plans mate.'

Adam rolled his eyes and shook his head slowly.

'Sex can wait Aaron… C'mon! I can't go out any other night, I'm on the early shift on the farm.' He pleaded.

Aaron looked at Jackson apologetically, looking for an answer. Jackson downed the rest of his pint and stood up.

'Do whatever you like, doesn't bother me.'

'You sure?' Aaron asked unsurely.

Jackson smiled and bent down to place a kiss to Aaron's upturned face.

'Positive. Besides, if you go to Hotten you can always stay at mine tomorrow night, that is, if you don't pick up a much fitter bloke.' Jackson teased.

'Impossible.' Aaron whispered, a smile on his face.

'Oh it's possible, believe me.' Adam muttered, glaring at the PDA.

Jackson threw him a dirty look over his shoulder before straightening up and grabbing his jacket.

'Right, best be off. See you later boys.'

'I'll call you.' Aaron promised, smiling at Jackson.

'Jackson laughed and shook his head.

'Well, as touching as that is, I wont hold me breath. Buh bye.'

Aaron watched as Jackson left the pub and smiled happily.

'He's so buff.' He heard himself whisper before turning three different shades of magenta.

Adam burst out laughing, causing the whole pub to turn and stare.

'Oh God Aaron, you're so gay, mate!'

Aaron sighed and grabbed the ironing board, checking his watch. He had ten minutes to shave, iron his clothes, have a wash and eat his supper. Impossible.

Paddy looked up and smiled.

'Heading out with Jackson, are you?'

'Nah, Adam.'

Paddy nodded.

'Right so I can expect you home tonight, can I?' he asked.

Aaron frowned and looked over his shoulder at Paddy.

'Why? You inviting some bird round?' he inquired curiously.

Paddy blushed a little and shook his head.

'No, I was just wondering whether you were going to stay with Jackson tonight or if Jackson was coming over here.' Paddy explained.

Aaron continued to iron his shirt and sighed.

'Have you got a problem with Jackson staying over?' he demanded.

'Oh no, God no, of course not Aaron! I mean, I'm happy with whatever you two want to do… I mean, it's none of my business of anything but I just like knowing whether-' Paddy gushed, growing more and more uncomfortable.

Aaron laughed and turned to face Paddy.

'Paddy, it's all right. I'm staying with Jackson tonight, if that's okay with you?' he said amusedly.

Paddy smiled.

'That's fine.'

'Good. Now, any chance of a loan of twenty quid?'

Adam pushed his pint away and looked around the practically empty bar.

'I am bored stiff.' He groaned.

Aaron nodded in agreement and took another sip of his drink.

'Me too. Where is everybody?' he demanded, eying up the ten people who were sitting around them, drinking and chatting quietly.

'I don't know mate, but this definitely isn't my idea of fun.' He sighed.

Aaron nodded in agreement.

'Me neither. Do you want to just head back to Jackson's? I'm sure he's got some beer or whatever.' He offered.

Adam shook his head.

'No. Look, no offence mate, but Jackson… ugh… he's boring! He's so… I don't know… bland. You could do better!' he whined.

Aaron frowned and laughed uncertainly.

'You're joking right? You're the only person in Emmerdale who thinks that _I'm_ too good for _Jackson_. He's the 'golden boy' who has the patience of a saint for having to put up with that rotten Aaron Livesy.' He chuckled.

Adam shook his head violently and placed his hand over Aaron's.

'No way mate, see… they don't know you like I do. You're way too good for him. He thinks he's bloody Gandhi because he puts up with a few mood swings. I put up with them all the time and to be honest, they don't really bother me.'

Aaron looked down at Adam's hand covering his and felt his heart beat accelerate a little.

'It's been more than a few 'mood swings' Adam. I am a bit of a handful.' He admitted.

Adam squeezed his hand and looked at Aaron, his eyes twinkling with honesty.

'Yeah, you are but he's not perfect. He's not all white and you're not all black.'

'That's why we're so good together.' Aaron sighed.

'What about me and you then? Why are we so good together?' he demanded.

Aaron frowned and tried to gently pull his hand back but Adam tightened his grip.

'Do you still want to kiss me? Do you ever wonder what if?' he asked quickly.

Aaron's eyes widened and he snapped his hand away from Adam's.

'Are you for serious?' he hissed.

Adam nodded and leaned across the table, boring his eyes into Aaron's.

'Perfectly. And before you say it, I've only had one drink. Do you ever wonder what it would have been like?' he asked.

'I don't want to talk about this Adam. I have a boyfriend now.'

'Please Aaron. I'm being honest with you. Just tell me.'

Aaron shook his head and got up from his seat.

'I'm heading over to Jackson's. If you want to crash on the sofa you can. Coming?' he asked, pulling on his jacket.

Adam looked up at him, a hurt look on his face.

'No, you're okay mate. Thanks.'

Jackson looked at Aaron in surprise.

'You're very early. I was expecting you to stagger in at like half two or three, pockets laden down with all the numbers of the sex bombs of Hotten.' He mocked.

Aaron shook his head and pushed past Jackson, an angry look on his face.

'No. Adam was being a prick.'

Jackson raised an eyebrow.

'Really? Adam?' he said sarcastically.

Aaron rolled his eyes and threw himself down on to the sofa.

'Look, just because he's sometimes a bit iffy around you doesn't mean he is to me. He's actually never been off around me.'

'Except for that time where you _molested_ him in the car…' Jackson teased.

'Shut up! No I didn't!' Aaron growled.

'I was joking Aaron…' Jackson said slowly.

Aaron shrugged and sat there with an ugly pout on his face.

'What happened? What did he say/do?' Jackson demanded, sitting down beside Aaron and wrapping an arm around him.

'He said I was too good for you.'

Jackson laughed and kissed the top of Aaron's head.

'Yeah… I hate it when people lie but he was just trying to be nice.'

'And then he brought up our near kiss and started asking me stupid questions and he wouldn't shut up about it and he did my fucking head in so I left.'

Jackson frowned.

'What kind of 'stupid' questions?'

'Doesn't matter.'

Jackson looked at Aaron for a moment before sighing in a defeated manner.

'Right, well I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, probably had a tad bit too much alcohol.' He decided.

Aaron shook his head.

'He wasn't even tipsy Jay.'

Jackson frowned even deeper and looked at Aaron in concern.

'Did he… I mean, did ye… He didn't try anything on, did he?' he asked softly.

Aaron shrugged and nestled a little closer to Jackson.

'I think he was going to. Twat.'


	2. Chapter 2

'He's Never Going To Love You Like I Want To'

Part Two

Aaron sat at the kitchen table, a perplexed look on his face, his dinner laying untouched in front of him. Paddy raised an eyebrow and looked at Aaron anxiously.

'Have a good night with Adam and Jackson?' he asked softly.

Aaron snapped out of his trance and looked at Paddy in confusion.

'Huh?' he mumbled.

Paddy repeated the question. Aaron frowned and nodded slowly.

'…Yeah…'

Paddy bit his lip and placed his knife and fork down.

'Right; now tell me if I'm being too nosy and whatnot, but is everything okay? Did you and Jackson have a fight?' he inquired calmly.

Aaron shook his head, staring at the droplet of water sliding down the side of Paddy's glass. Paddy nodded and took a deep breath.

'Okay. Did you and Adam?'

Aaron frowned even deeper and shook his head slowly.

'Not…really.' He mumbled.

Paddy nodded and waited for Aaron to continue. Aaron sighed loudly and leaned back in his chair, covering his face with his hands.

'He…I think he came on to me…' he whispered.

Paddy couldn't help it, he snorted with laughter. Aaron dropped his hands from his face and glared at Paddy.

'Oh yeah, it's bloody hilarious, isn't it? Imagine, someone other than Jackson thinks I'm good looking!' he snapped.

Paddy wiped the smile of his face and shook his head solemnly.

'No, that's not what I was laughing at… I mean, it's just hard to believe considering all the fuss he made about you trying to kiss him…you know?' he said seriously.

Aaron pulled a face and jumped out of his seat.

'I'm not a bloody liar, Paddy.' He growled, storming out of the room, slamming the front door behind him.

X X X

Adam sat up on the hill and looked at the village below him. He had really fucked up with Aaron last night. He couldn't believe he had said all those things. But he found it harder to believe that he had gone so long without saying a thing to Aaron. Aaron was his best friend and had been brave enough to try and kiss him. And Adam had wondered everyday ever since what could have happened, what could have been. He wasn't interested in men; he didn't feel like going to a gay bar to pick up strangers. He wanted to know what it would be like to kiss the only person in the world who knows who he really was, that's all.

'Idiot.'

Adam spun around and saw Aaron sit down beside him.

'What are you doing here?' Adam asked in surprise.

Aaron shrugged and stared at his hands.

'Dunno. Guess I couldn't forget what you said last night.' He mumbled.

Adam felt his heart skip a beat and shifted a little closer so that his shoulder was touching Aaron's.

'I shouldn't have said what I said last night, mate. It's not fair on you, you and Jackson are-' he started to say but Aaron silenced him with a kiss.

The kiss was messy and sloppy, nothing at all like what Adam had imagined. Aaron's stubble was uncomfortable against his skin, scraping his chin. Aaron's lips were chapped and he could taste the staleness off his breath. Adam was about to pull away when Aaron ran his tongue along Adam's bottom lip. Adam parted his lips slightly and suddenly it was as though fireworks had burst behind his eyes. He leaned in closer for the kiss so that there was no space between them, wrapping his arms around Aaron's neck, pulling himself as close as he could. Aaron pushed away much too soon for Adam's liking and the pair sat there, panting and watching each other.

'Now you know.' Aaron muttered, his blue eyes sparkling with something Adam couldn't quite decipher.

'I wish I didn't. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget now.' Adam whispered, reaching across to link fingers with Aaron.

'I felt nothing Adam. There's nothing there mate.' He lied.

Adam raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

'I know you're lying Aaron. I've never been kissed like that before. Ever.' He chuckled.

Aaron half smiled and gently broke the link of their fingers.

'I'm with Jackson, Adam and I really, really like him. I'm sorry.' He explained, a sad look in his eye.

Adam nodded and smiled bravely.

'All right, I'm not going to beg or anything. Sounds like you have your mind made up.' He said quietly.

'I do.' Aaron said firmly.

Adam nodded again and looked at Aaron longingly.

'It's a pity, eh?' he breathed.

Aaron shook his head and got to his feet.

'For you maybe, but I've got Jackson and I ain't going to ruin that.'

X X X

Jackson zipped up his jacket and hopped out of his van, just in time to see Aaron come around the corner.

'Oh hello darling, I was just about to come looking for you.' He teased.

Aaron frowned in confusion.

'Hmm?'

'We're going out for dinner, remember?' he said happily.

Aaron closed his eyes and looked down at his muddy tracksuit bottoms and filthy hoody.

'I'm nowhere near ready.' He sighed.

Jackson shrugged.

'I don't mind sitting down with some tea and biscuits waiting for you to titivate yourself.' He offered cheerfully.

Aaron bowed his head, unable to look at Jackson.

'Just go home. Please.'

Jackson frowned and took a step closer, concern on his face.

'What's wrong?' he asked anxiously.

Aaron took a step away from him and shook his head.

'Please Jay… I just need to be alone right now.'

Jackson sighed and nodded slowly.

'Okay. If you need me just call, all right?'

Aaron nodded and watched as Jackson made his way back to his van.

Jackson opened the car door and paused when he heard the very soft sound of Aaron crying. He spun around and saw the teen leaning against the wall, his face buried in his hands, his sobs heart wrenching.

'I'm fine.' He gasped, unable to straighten up from the pure intensity of his grief and guilt.

Jackson shook his head and closed the van door, quickly crossing the lawn to be by Aaron's side.

'Aaron, what's wrong?'

X X X

Aaron settled himself on the cold, wet ground beside Jackson, secluded by some bushes and trees, the cold night air whipping against his wet cheeks painfully. He looked around and over his shoulder, scanning the area around them for passer-bys or even worse… Adam.

'What's up mate?' Jackson asked, watching Aaron with concern.

Aaron sighed heavily and buried his head in his hands.

'I've done something awful.' He whispered after a long silence.

Jackson tried not to roll his eyes, dreading the bad news that he was about to laden down with.

'Okay… awful illegal or just awful morally?' he half joked.

'Morally bad.'

Jackson exhaled with relief and allowed himself a small chuckle.

'All right. Well that's a good start Aaron.'

Aaron shook his head and looked up at Jackson with tear filled eyes, his lip trembling.

'You're going to hate me.' He gasped.

Jackson bit his lip and forced himself to shake his head.

'No I won't. I promise.'

Aaron wiped his eyes roughly and groaned loudly.

'I… I kissed Adam…' he breathed raggedly, unable to look at Jackson.

Jackson tried to ignore the uncomfortable, almost painful, squeeze around his heart. He nodded slowly and told himself in his head to keep breathing as normal.

'Okay… Last night?' he whispered.

Aaron sniffed and shook his head.

'No, there about an hour ago.' He sobbed.

Jackson bit down so hard on his lip that he could taste blood.

'Right.'

'I kissed him.'

Jackson closed his eyes and tried to picture a sunny beach.

'And I liked it.'

It was just him, tanning himself beneath the hot Mediterranean sun.

'It was different Jay… It was like…right.'

He was on the beach and then a tsunami came and crashed against him, battering his body black and blue. Jackson opened his eyes unable to pretend anymore.

'Is this your torturous way of breaking up with me?' he snapped.

Aaron looked up at him, tears sliding down his cheeks. He looked so pathetic that all of Jackson's anger instantly evaporated.

'No, no of course not! I just… I couldn't _not_ tell you…' he choked.

Jackson felt his heart warm.

'You were just being honest? Like I keep asking you to be?' he chuckled sadly.

Aaron nodded.

'Yeah.'

Jackson reached across and slipped his hand into Aaron's cold shaking one.

'Is he a good kisser?' he asked mockingly.

Aaron smiled a watery smile and shook his head.

'Not a patch on you, mate.'

X X X

Adam sat in the hay barn, checking his watch every couple of minutes; certain Aaron wasn't going to show. He was about to leave when he heard the sound of footsteps.

'Hey.' Aaron muttered, stepping out from the shadows.

'Morning.' Adam greeted, a small smile on his lips.

'I'm not staying for long I just…if you want to keep being my best mate; you've got to stop this. You've got to stop looking at me like _that_!' he snapped.

Adam looked around in bewilderment.

'What? I'm not looking at you anyway different than usual!' he insisted.

'Yes you are. You're looking at me like you're picturing me naked!' he growled.

Adam laughed and shook his head fondly.

'You are such a nutter.'

'I don't know if I can be around you anymore. I don't know if I can trust myself with you.' Aaron groaned.

Adam smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

'Don't trust yourself around me then. Just do what feels natural mate.' He said softly.

'Don't Adam.' Aaron whispered, leaning back against a bale of hay.

Adam stood up and walked over to Aaron, only stopping when every part of his body was pressed against Aaron's.

'You think Jackson hasn't been with other guys?' he asked softly, wrapping one arm around Aaron's neck.

Aaron looked into Adam's eyes and felt himself nearly melt on the spot.

'Of course he has but not while he was with me…' he breathed.

Adam pecked Aaron's lips and smiled against them.

'But he's not here now… so come on Aaron… just let yourself do what feels right mate…'

Aaron grabbed Adam by the lapels of his jacket and threw him backwards.

'What the Hell do you think you're doing?' he snapped, feeling irrationally angry, feeling sexually frustrated.

Adam stumbled backwards and fell on to the flat of his arse, a confused look in his face.

'Aaron, mate, I was just-'

'I HAVE A BLOODY BOYFRIEND! I DON'T FUCKING WANT YOU ADAM!' He roared, spittle flying everywhere.

Adam frowned, a furious look contorting his usually smooth face.

'REALLY? BECAUSE UP UNTIL A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO I WAS ALL YOU WANTED!' He yelled, feeling humiliated at the rejection.

Aaron shook his head in disgust and made his way to the entrance of the barn.

'Just stay away from me, you prat! I don't want nothing to do with you anymore!'

Adam felt tears burning his eyes and he wiped them away furiously.

'Good! I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH A FAGGOTT LIKE YOU ANYWAY! G'WAN, GO SKIP OFF HOME TO THAT SICK, PERVERTED BOYFRIEND OF YOURS! SEE IF I GIVE A SHIT!' He shrieked, not caring if he hurt Aaron or not.

'Just fuck off and do one, yeah?' Aaron snapped as he stormed out of the farmyard, back towards the village.

Adam sat there in the middle of the barn and began to cry, not noticing Moira making her way into the barn.

'Adam?' she gasped in shock, not able to believe the outburst she just saw or the tears she was looking at now.

Adam looked up and burst into a fresh set of tears at the sight of the concerned look on his mothers face.

'Mum…Mum…I'm so confused!' he choked before burying his head in his hands and letting the grief and uncertainty wash through him.

X X X

Jackson sat in the pub, nursing his pint, staring into the dark depths of his glass, wondering how much alcohol it would take to drink himself into oblivion.

'Why the long face?' Hazel demanded as she seated herself down beside Jackson.

Jackson looked up and rolled his eyes at his mother.

'Oh Mum, I'm not in the mood. Please.' He snapped.

Hazel raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her white wine spritzer.

'I only asked a question, not that I needed to. I said to myself, I said Hazel; that is the face of a young man who has been dumped. So… what did you do? Or didn't do?' she asked curiously, a smug smile on her face.

Jackson shook his head and allowed himself a chuckle.

'Wrong, Mum. I've not been dumped… Just cheated on.' He sighed.

Hazel frowned and looked at Jackson incredulously.

'He didn't?' she gasped.

Jackson nodded slowly and pursed his lips.

'He did. With Adam Barton.'

Hazel's eyes widened at this new piece of information and leaned closer to Jackson.

'Aaron _slept_ with Adam Barton? The boy he tried to pull when he first knew he played for the other team?' she demanded loudly.

A couple of heads turned around in the bar, according Moira's who was working behind the bar, a couple of metres from where they sat.

'Mum!' Jackson hissed, glaring at his mother.

Hazel shrugged and looked at Jackson apologetically.

'Excuse me?' Moira asked in disbelief, coming closer to Jackson and Hazel.

'Did you just say that Aaron and Adam…you know…' she whispered, trailing off, unable to finish the sentence.

'Bumped uglies? Seems like it!' Hazel exclaimed, patting Jackson's arm sympathetically.

Jackson closed his eyes in exasperation and shook his head quickly.

'No Moira, _Mum_, that's not what happened!' he announced, gritting his teeth.

Hazel frowned in confusion.

'You said Aaron cheated on you with Adam!' she argued.

Moira's eyes widened and she covered her mouth her hand.

'Oh, my God. Jackson, is this true?' she demanded.

Jackson glared at Hazel and hopped up from his seat.

'I don't want to talk about this.' He snapped, grabbing his jacket.

'But-' Moira started to plead but Jackson cut across her.

'Just talk to Adam!'

X X X

Aaron lay on the bed beside Jackson, stroking his bare chest slowly, deep in thought.

'So… Moira knows…' Jackson mumbled, staring up at the ceiling, a deep frown creasing his face.

Aaron nodded beside him and let his eyes drift closed with exhaustion.

'Suppose it's just a matter of time before I have John banging on me door then.' He muttered.

Jackson smiled grimly.

'Suppose. Do you think he's gay, gay or just…bicurious?' Jackson pondered.

Aaron snorted and inched closer to Jackson, resting his head on his shoulder.

'Don't know; don't care. He can get lost. I want nothing to do with him no more.' He spat vehemently.

Jackson shifted on the bed and looked down at Aaron's closed eyes and frowned even deeper.

'You don't mean that.' He whispered.

'Yes I do!' Aaron insisted.

Jackson sat up, making Aaron open his eyes and sit up slowly with him.

'Aaron, he's obviously confused! He's not some seducer, just trying to get into your pants for a laugh! He's probably going through a pretty tough time at the moment, not too unlike you a couple of months ago!' Jackson snapped.

Aaron rolled his eyes and shook his head in disgust.

'I didn't go around trying to get into peoples pants when I was struggling to come out!' he argued.

'Liar.' Jackson said softly, his brown eyes boring into Aaron's blue ones.

Aaron blushed slightly and looked away, feeling tears burn the back of his eyes.

He would have to come clean.

'I know he needs help, but I don't want to be the one to give it to him.'

Jackson sighed and pulled on his t-shirt.

'Why?' he demanded, standing up to pull on his jeans.

Aaron shook his head and lay back on the bed.

'Doesn't matter.'

Jackson raised an eyebrow and nodded, too tired to try and get any more out of him.

'Right. I'll put supper on then. Lasagne okay?'

Aaron nodded slowly and closed his eyes tightly, hoping he'd wake up and realize that all of this was just a dream…

X X X

Moira placed the supper down in front of John and Adam tentatively, unsure of how she could broach the subject. She sat down gingerly and watched her two men wolf down their eggs and beans.

'Busy day?' she asked, looking between the both of them.

John nodded and smiled at Adam.

'Once we got over our early morning tantrum, yeah, run off our feet.' He chuckled.

Adam winked at his parents and took a gulp of tea.

'I was just a bit over-tired, you know what it's like!' he exclaimed.

'Missing Scarlett more like!' John teased.

'Whatever!' Adam said bemusedly, rolling his eyes at his father.

Moira took a sip of her tea and looked at Adam intently.

'Jackson Walsh said something very interesting today.' She said slowly.

John looked at her in interest.

'Yeah? What was it then?'

Moira looked at Adam who was watching her with a curious look on his face.

'It was about you and Aaron.' She said calmly, hoping Adam would take the hint.

Adam frowned in bewilderment and nodded at his mother.

'What about us?' he asked.

Moira cursed him in her head for being such a coward.

'He said that you and Aaron kissed.' She said carefully, awaiting John and Adam's reactions.

John's eyes widened and he turned to look at Adam in shock. Adam just continued to chew his food calmly and nodded slowly.

'Yeah, we did.' He admitted, no shame.

John spluttered and looked at Moira in horror. Moira smiled, admiring Adam's honesty.

'Is that all?' she inquired.

Adam nodded.

'Yeah. I'm not the gay one Mum, he is.'

Moira nodded.

'Yes, I know, but Jackson seemed very upset about it.'

Adam shrugged his shoulders.

'I don't blame him. It must be hard to know that Aaron's still obsessed with me. I pushed him away and tried to tell him gently that I'm straight but he weren't interested. Just kept shouting at me that he loved me. I didn't know what to do so I told him to get off the farm. He started making some really horrible remarks about Holly so I yelled at him this morning. I guess I was crying this morning 'cause I've lost me best mate, you know?'

Moira scrutinized Adam's face and decided that she didn't believe him. No, she knew she didn't believe him because she had heard Aaron tell Adam that he had a boyfriend. She had seen Aaron push Adam off of him. She forced a smile and nodded.

'All right darling, I just wondered.'

John shook his head in disgust and patted Adam on the shoulder.

'You did the right thing. Aaron has no right to put you in that kind of position.'

X X X

Adam marched up the path to Smithy Cottage and pounded his fist against the door, barely containing his anger.

Paddy opened the door, a surprised look on his face.

'Everything okay Adam?' he asked anxiously, taking in Adam's furious expression.

'Is Aaron in Pads?' he demanded, not looking at Paddy, staring at the space behind him.

Paddy nodded and stood back, allowing Adam to come in.

'Yeah, he's in the kitchen having supper, there's plenty there if-' but Adam didn't hear the rest as he barged into the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

Jackson and Adam both looked up in shock. Aaron's shocked expression soon turned to one of anger as he stood up from his chair and squared up to Adam.

'What the Hell are you doing here?' he demanded, taking a step closer to Adam.

Adam glared at him and shook his head in distaste.

'You told him. You fucking told him!' he hissed, throwing Jackson a filthy look.

Jackson jumped up from his own seat and made his way to Aaron's side.

'Of course he bloody told me, I'm his boyfriend.'

'That doesn't mean you and your mum have to go mouthing off about it in the pub! My Mum heard that! She thinks I'm gay now, thank you very much!' he growled.

'Well, you're hardly straight!' Aaron retorted, folding his arms across his chest, sticking his balled fists under his arms, scared he would take a swing at Adam if he didn't.

Adam shook his head in disbelief and glowered at Aaron.

'I thought _you_ of all people would understand.' He croaked.

Aaron rolled his eyes and laughed in surprise.

'Adam! I do understand! But what I don't understand is why you're always trying to kiss me! I have a boyfriend. You have Scarlett, surely you must see that we can't do anything together! You're me best mate.' He snapped angrily, frustrated by the whole situation.

Jackson frowned. Aaron never said he wasn't interested just that he wasn't available.

Adam's eyes filled with tears and he ducked his head in embarrassment.

'Yeah well mate… surely _you_ can see that I… I love you…' he choked.

X X X

Paddy sat in the sitting room drinking a beer when he suddenly heard the sound of someone falling anf three voices yelling at once. He jumped up from his seat and raced into the kitchen to find Adam lying on the ground, clutching his face and crying whilst Jackson was restraining Aaron who was yelling at the top of his lungs.

'JUST GET OUT! STAY AWAY FROM ME! I MEAN IT ADAM, IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, I'LL _KILL_ YOU!'

Paddy looked around at the three boys and decided that he didn't want to know.

X X X

'You shouldn't have done that.' Jackson said softly, placing an ice pack on Aaron's fist. Aaron rolled his eyes and winced as his knuckles ached.

'He deserved it.'

'Why… because he loves you?'

'He ain't my boyfriend.'

'So he can't love you.'

Aaron glared at Jackson.

'No, he just can't tell me. I don't want to know.'

Jackson shrugged and looked up at Aaron sadly.

'Because you don't know what to do with that information.'

'Exactly.'

'Because you don't know how you feel.'

Aaron frowned and looked at Jackson in confusion.

'No. I-uh…' he began to mumble but Jackson cut across him.

'It's all right, mate. I get it.'

Aaron shook his head quickly and looked into Jackson's eyes, his own eyes shining with honesty.

'No, Jay, really, that's not it. I just… he's my best mate… when I hurt him, I'm hurting myself, you know?'

Jackson nodded but couldn't keep the disappointment from his eyes.

'Yeah but… what about me?'

X X X

'Paddy?'

Paddy snored loudly and continued to dream on happily.

'Paddy?'

Paddy moaned softly in his sleep.

'PADDY!'

Paddy's eyes snapped open and he sat up, quick as lightening.

'I'm up, I'm up!' he mumbled, looking around the room, surprised to see that everything was still pitch black.

Aaron stepped inside and closed the door behind him, relieved that the darkness would hide his tear stained face and swollen eyes.

'Can we talk?' he whispered.

Paddy blinked around in the darkness, allowing his eyes a chance to acclimatize to the blackness of the room.

'Uh…now Aaron?' he asked, making out a silhouette sitting at the end of his bed.

'Please,' he mumbled.

Paddy sighed and settled himself back against his pillows.

'Yeah sure… what's up?'

Paddy waited expectantly for an answer and felt his chest squeeze tightly as he heard the soft gasps of breath coming from Aaron.

'I-I think I might have messed things up with Jackson _and_ Adam…' he sobbed, burying his head in his hands.

Paddy frowned and bit his lip anxiously.

'How?' he asked curiously.

'Adam told me he loved me and I told him to do one and then Jackson asked me why I didn't want Adam to love me and…I don't know! Things were weird when he said goodbye! He just hugged me and left!' Aaron choked, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand furiously.

Paddy sighed and kicked back the covers of his bed.

'I can't solve all your romantic problems Aaron, but do you want to share with me tonight?'

Aaron considered putting on a brave face and leaving the room but decided that just this once, he would let Paddy see the side of him he only showed Jackson.

'Thanks.'

X X X

Jackson nibbled on his toast and picked at his bacon. Hazel rolled her eyes and took the plate away from him.

'So… what is it this time? Aaron came at you with a knife? You found him in bed with Paddy? Come on, spill!' she demanded, settling herself down opposite him.

Jackson shook his head and continued to stare on ahead of him dazedly.

'I don't know Mum… I don't know what he's done but I just can't let myself wait for him to hurt me. I know it's coming and I know it's going to be painful but for some reason I can't tear myself away from him.' He mumbled, tears beginning to sparkle in his eyes.

Hazel looked at Jackson sympathetically and shrugged her shoulders.

'For once, Jackson Walsh, I am speechless.' She announced.

Jackson quirked a smile and rolled his eyes.

'Wow… I should savour this moment, might never happen again.' He joked weakly.

Hazel smiled at Jackson sadly and shook her head.

'It's called love Jackson. That warm feeling in the pit of your stomach? It's not from too much chicken tikka; it's him. My poor baby… He's not the most devout type so I wouldn't pin all my hopes on him if I were you but what's the harm in a little indulgence every now and then, eh?' she said kindly.

Jackson looked at his mother in confusion.

'Indulgence? Mum… I've never felt like this about anyone in me life. I know that he's going to carry on with Adam behind me back and still, all I want to do is go over to Paddy's and settle down on the sofa with Aaron and watch a DVD. This isn't normal!' he snapped.

Hazel raised her eyebrows at Jackson's tone of voice and stood up to go and do the washing up.

'I'm just telling you that Aaron is great for now, but he wont be around for long so don't go making roots, all right?'

X X X

Moira looked at Adam's two day old bruised eye and raised her eyebrows.

'What happened to 'I walked into a wall'? 'Sick, perverted' Jackson can actually throw a good punch? He sure marked you hard enough.' she said coldly.

Adam sat down at the kitchen table and frowned, irritated.

'Huh?'

Moira placed his breakfast in front of him and sat down beside him, looking at him intently.

'I saw you two in the hay barn a couple of days ago. I saw your little fight.' She said softly.

Adam blushed and ducked his head, ashamed of himself.

'Mum… I….' He started to explain but the words stuck in his throat.

Moira patted him on the shoulder and shook her head.

'I wont tell your father, it's none of my business who you're with but darling, please don't string Scarlett along.' She pleaded.

Adam looked up at his mum angrily.

'One kiss don't make me gay Mum! I love Scarlett, I really do!'

Moira smirked and rolled her eyes.

'It's more than one kiss Adam, as well you know!' she snapped.

Adam shook his head violently, panic setting in.

'No, Mum honest! I was just curious!' he gushed.

Moira sighed and nodded.

'Fine, but I've got a very tired and tormented looking Aaron Livesy waiting for you outside in the hay barn, so if I were you I wouldn't tell him that you probably just ruined your friendship over a bit of curiosity.'

X X X

Aaron looked up as Adam walked in and jumped off the bale of hay, standing up as tall as he could, wanting to seem bigger. Adam nodded and hung around by the entrance to the barn, a confused look on his face.

'What do you want? I thought you didn't want to see me anymore.' Adam muttered.

Aaron frowned and bared his teeth.

'I don't but Paddy told me I had to do this.'

'Do what?'

'Sort this.' Aaron snapped.

Adam nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

'Right so mate, what do you want to do? Fight me? Beat me up again? Maybe shout some more insults at me? It's your choice Aaron, I'm not bothered.' He growled.

Aaron glowered at Adam and shook his head.

'Look, I didn't come here to listen to this.'

'What did you come here for then?'

'To tell you, you stupid twat, that despite your obvious lack of brains, I love you. And yeah Adam, I have always wondered what it would have been like if I had kissed you and you had kissed me back. Always. But I have Jackson now; I'm not stupid enough to throw that away for a fling with you. Because Scarlett's home tomorrow and then I'm history. Obviously.' He spat, the hurt and frustration evident on his face.

Adam looked at Aaron in shock and shook his head.

'You're well stupid actually if you believe that I'd go through all of this just to dump you when Scarlett comes home. You know me well enough Aaron to know that I ain't like that mate!' he argued.

Aaron sighed heavily and looked at Adam unsurely.

'I can't trust you.'

Adam started walking towards Aaron, closing the distance between them.

'Kiss me. Kiss me and you'll see why you should trust me.'

X X X

John sighed and pulled on his jacket, rubbing his hands together from the cold.

'Bloody freezing today, eh?' he mumbled to Andy.

Andy nodded and stuffed his own hands deep in his pockets.

'Aye. How many bales are we moving now?' he asked.

John shrugged.

'Five or six, if Adam would ever show up…' he grumbled, making his way into the hay barn.

The sight before him made him stop in his tracks. There, pressed up against a bale of hay, was his son, wrapped around Aaron Livesy, kissing passionately. Andy stopped right behind him, a shocked look on his face.

'Adam?' John called out calmly, curling his fists behind his back.

Aaron cracked an eye open and pushed Adam away with such force that Adam nearly tripped.

'What the- DAD?' He yelped as he turned around.

'You're late. We're moving the bales now. You free to help?' he asked levelly, trying to pretend that nothing had happened.

Adam looked at him unsurely, awaiting the outburst.

'Yeah, sure.' He mumbled, zipping up his jacket, looking back at Aaron who was looking at his shoes.

'I guess you and Jackson are finished then?' John asked, looking at Aaron in disgust.

Aaron inhaled sharply, revealing the answer.

'Well… you will be after that I suppose.' John chuckled.

Adam rolled his eyes.

'Dad don't.' he pleaded softly.

'No Adam, I won't. Aaron has got to learn that he can't put you in these kinds of situations. This is twice in one week. Aaron, I tell you what, you go off and do one and I wont tell Jackson what I just saw. You leave Adam alone and mum's the word, okay?' John offered, ignoring the looks that Adam and Andy were giving him.

'What do you mean twice in one week? Adam kissed me!' he snapped.

John glared at shook his head.

'That's not what I heard and Adam's not gay Aaron, as well you know. He's turned you down before mate, so just take the hint.'

Aaron bit back his retort and nodded.

'Yeah sure.' He mumbled, hopping off the bale and making his way past Adam, whispering as he went:

'Now I know why I don't trust you.'


	3. Chapter 3

'He's Never Going To Love You Like I Want To'

Part Three

Aaron stomped his way back to the village, viciously angry. He hated Adam. He hated his stupid, handsome face. He hated the way he could make him laugh. He hated the way he made him feel as if he wasn't mentally deranged. He hated the way that when he spoke Adam made him feel as if no one else's opinion mattered. He hated every single thing about the smug bastard.

X X X

Adam sat at the kitchen table and looked up at his father, fear evident in his eyes.

'I'm sorry Dad…' he whispered.

John sighed exasperatedly and shook his head, looking at Adam pitifully.

'Why the Hell are you sorry? Adam, I don't care if you're…you know…but to string Aaron and Scarlett along while you make up your mind is just wrong! You made Aaron decide when it came to Holly.' John exclaimed.

Adam nodded slowly and looked at his father sadly.

'I know Dad, okay? But… it's just Aaron. I don't like blokes, just him.'

John bit his lip and exhaled heavily.

'Right… Well… I'm not much good at this, maybe you best talk to your mum… Sorry mate.' He said decidedly.

Adam nodded and gave John a grim smile.

'Thanks Dad...'

X X X

Jackson hopped out of his van and skipped up the path to Smithy Cottage. It had been three days since he'd last seen Aaron, three nights since Adam had declared his love for his boyfriend. Jackson felt guilty for running away and taking three days for himself, but he needed it. He needed to miss Aaron so that he could forget the way that Aaron's eyes had temporarily lit up when he realized that Adam wanted him.

He knocked on the door and stood back; awaiting the explosion that Aaron would undoubtedly expose him to.

'What are you doing here?' Aaron demanded, pulling the door open.

Jackson rolled his eyes and smiled cheerfully.

'To see you, you gimp. Hardly here to romance Paddy, am I?' Jackson teased.

Aaron shrugged.

'I don't know. You flirt with anything with a pulse and a hole so how am I supposed to know?' he shot back, quick as a flash.

Jackson frowned a little and looked at Aaron, confused.

'Sorry? Did I miss something?' he asked, slightly miffed.

Aaron rolled his eyes and went to close the door but Jackson stuck his foot against it, anger bubbling deep inside him.

'Oi! I am speaking English here, aren't I Aaron? What the hell is wrong with you?' he snapped.

Aaron pulled a face and swung the door open again.

'Where were you? What did I bloody do to deserve being ignored for three days?' he growled.

Jackson shrugged his shoulders, not the least bit ashamed.

'I needed some space Aaron, I needed to rethink some things.'

'What kind of things? Us?' he hissed.

Jackson took a step back and ran a hand through his hair.

'Look, Aaron, I don't need this. What are you doing?' he groaned.

'Nothing, cause at least then I'm doing nothing wrong, eh?' he hissed.

Jackson shook his head and chewed on his lip, taking in Aaron's furious expression.

'No, you're pushing me away, distancing yourself from me, cause it's easier then, isn't it? It's easier for you to tell me it's over.' Jackson whispered, hurt clouding his eyes.

Aaron blinked in surprise; amazed that Jackson had seen through so easily.

'It's over.' Aaron heard himself croak.

Jackson nodded slowly and took another step back, choking down the tears.

'Do you really mean that?' he gasped.

Aaron nodded strongly, determinedly.

'Just do one, yeah?' He snapped, scared if Jackson stayed any longer he might give in.

Jackson nodded again and started walking back towards his van, barely able to conceal the complete and utter devastation that was gripping his body.

'What did I do wrong?' Jackson suddenly exclaimed, spinning around to face Aaron.

He froze however when he saw that Aaron's face was contorted with pain, a tear sliding down his cheek.

'Jay, just go mate…please.' He snapped weakly.

Jackson squared his shoulders and set his mouth in a thin line.

'No… no way Aaron. I'm not running anymore. I'm not letting you push me away. I love you mate. I love you more than Adam ever will! You got to let me in Aaron; I can't sit here on the sidelines anymore. I know you don't mean this. I know you want me as much as I want you.' He sobbed, marching back up the lawn.

Aaron burst into a fresh set of tears and shook his head sadly.

'Jackson… I'm only going to hurt you. He loves me; he really loves me. I don't know who I want. I don't bloody know!' he gasped painfully.

Jackson pushed his way into the house, pushing Aaron back onto the stairs, kicking the door behind him.

'You're hurting me even worse now Aaron. Let me show you how much I love you, how much I want you.' He whispered, his lips hovering over Aaron's.

Aaron looked up at Jackson unsurely and swallowed hard.

'I kissed Adam again yesterday.'

Jackson didn't even blink. He just nodded.

'I love you.' He whispered.

Aaron closed the distance between them and kissed Jackson's lips softly.

'I think I love you too.' He mumbled, lied, tried to convince himself.

X X X

Scarlett folded her arms across her chest and looked at Adam uncertainly.

'What's wrong with you grumpy? You've been in a bad mood ever since I came home!' she exclaimed.

'Had such a great time without you he didn't want it to end.' Jackson snapped, glaring at Adam.

Aaron coughed uncomfortably and gave Jackson a swift quick underneath the table.

Scarlett smiled and shook her head fondly.

'I doubt it. I missed you so much, it was crazy!' she announced, planting a kiss on Adam's cheek.

Adam smiled and winked at Scarlett.

'I missed you too babes.' He lied smoothly.

Aaron snorted in disgust, earning him a filthy look from Moira.

Scarlett looked at Aaron in confusion.

'I don't know why he's so good to you, Adam and Jackson. You're just unpleasant, aren't you?' she snapped.

Aaron bit back his retort and took a mouthful of lager. Jackson mirrored his movement and sighed heavily.

'We best be off soon. Work in the morning.'

Scarlett pouted.

'Oh no! Look just send him to bed and you stay Jackson, please!' she begged.

Adam looked up at Jackson pleadingly.

'Yeah, go on mate. I'll walk Aaron home if you like.'

Moira frowned and shook her head.

'No, I'm sure Aaron can walk himself home Adam.' She interjected.

Jackson raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

'No, sure, you go ahead Adam. One of us better walk him home. Poor thing gets a bit confused at times. Loses his way a little but he always makes the right decision in the end.' Jackson spat, his words dripping with venom.

Scarlett raised an eyebrow and looked between Adam and Jackson.

'Whoa, did I miss something? Have you two had a falling out?' she asked.

Adam forced a laugh and kissed Scarlett's forehead.

'Don't be crazy, come on Aaron, I'll walk you home.' He announced.

Aaron shook his head and looked at him in disgust.

'I can walk meself home thanks. Come on Jackson.'

Scarlett sighed deeply and shook her head.

'Go on home Jackson, he'll throw a tantrum if he doesn't get he wants. As usual.' She muttered.

Aaron scoffed and pulled his jacket on.

'Coming from you.'

Jackson pulled on his jacket and tried to swallow the anger at the idea of Adam walking his Aaron home.

'Thanks for the drinks Scarlett. Sorry we couldn't stay longer but we do actually have an early start in the morning.'

'It's all right boys, thanks for coming.' Moira said calmly, relieved and grateful that Jackson had been such a gentleman and had bitten his tongue for the last hour or so.

Aaron nodded at Moira and glared at Adam and Scarlett.

'Welcome home. Pity the trip didn't last longer. Or you died.' He growled before marching out of the pub.

Scarlett rolled her eyes and smiled at Jackson.

'You deserve so much better.'

'So do you.' He said sadly.

Scarlett laughed and linked fingers with Adam.

'There now, I must disagree Mr. Walsh. Come for drinks tomorrow night? You can even bring Moody Mechanic and I'll even be nice.' She begged.

Jackson sighed and shook his head.

'No thanks. Another time maybe, eh?'

Scarlett watched as he left the pub and turned to Moira and Adam, an angry look in her eyes.

'Ok, what did you do to them?' she demanded.

Adam feigned offence and held his hands up in surrender.

'Me? Nothing! You know Aaron…he's probably just tired or something.'

Scarlett shook her head.

'Mmm…or something indeed.'

X X X

Aaron buried his head deep into his pillow and tried desperately to stifle his sobs. Jackson would be out of the shower any minute now and would immediately know what was wrong but Aaron couldn't help it.

He felt like his heart was breaking.

He felt like he was being ripped in two.

He heard the spray of the shower being turned off and sat up, wiping his eyes desperately, choking down the monstrous lump in his throat.

Jackson padded into the room with nothing but a towel on, his beautifully chiselled body glistening magnificently. His smile faltered slightly when he saw Aaron's tear stained face and puffy eyes. He looked away and sighed heavily. Aaron choked back his sob and turned on his side to face the wall, not wanting to say anything for fear that he would break down.

He felt Jackson get into bed beside him, smelling fresh and cleansed.

'Want to talk about it?'

'No.'

Aaron waited for Jackson to persist but he didn't. Silence befell the two and Aaron found himself wondering what he was doing, found himself wondering what Jackson was thinking about.

'I'm going to go sleep on the couch.' Jackson mumbled, hopping out of the bed, out of the room, out of sight but most certainly not out of mind.

Aaron waited a few moments before letting out a loud, hysterical sob. He grabbed the alarm clock beside his bed and threw it at the wall, liking the ear shattering sound it made. He dragged himself out of the bed, still crying and knocked his chest of drawers and lamp over, bawling his eyes out.

He didn't hear the door open.

He didn't see the horrified look on Paddy's face or the shocked one on Jackson's.

He didn't hear Paddy begging him to stop.

He didn't feel any pain when he punched his fist through the mirror, didn't see the blood dripping from his wrist.

But he felt Jackson wrapping an arm around his wrist.

He felt the soft lips against his ear.

He heard the soothing, calming words he whispered.

But he didn't feel the one thing he desperately wanted to feel. He didn't feel any love.

X X X

Jackson sat downstairs with Paddy, the pair looking completely shattered.

'That could be classified as a mental breakdown, you know.' Jackson mumbled, looking at his watch and yawning. It was three in the morning. It had taken two hours to calm Aaron down and another half of one to make him fall asleep. There was no way Jackson, or indeed Aaron, would be up for work tomorrow morning.

Paddy nodded in agreement, a hollow look in his eyes.

'I've never seen him react like that. Not even when he attacked me… He just… He didn't even know where he was…' he whispered.

Jackson looked at Paddy anxiously, knowing how much Paddy hated talking about that.

'Jackson…he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know anything anymore…could you not… would it not…do you…'Paddy asked helplessly, unable to verbalize his idea.

Jackson nodded, knowing what Paddy was trying to say.

'Could I not break up with him and leave him a clear run at Adam?'

Paddy looked uncomfortable but nodded all the same.

'Well…yeah…it's too hard for him Jackson. He doesn't know who to hurt and who to love. And no matter who he chooses he'll be hurting himself because he cares about the both of you, you know that.'

Jackson bit his lip and looked up at Paddy, hurt evident in his eyes.

'But I love him Paddy. Adam will never, ever treat him like I could, like I will.' Jackson insisted.

Paddy looked up at the young builder and allowed himself a small smile at his honesty.

'You're a great lad Jackson. I just hope he doesn't hurt you too much.'


	4. Chapter 4

'He's Never Going To Love You Like I Want To.'

Part Four

Aaron awoke to a splitting headache. He sat up slowly, his entire body aching. He turned to look at his clock and frowned when it didn't seem to be there. He blinked and his eyes widened as he looked around at the disaster that was his room. He looked over his shoulder and saw Jackson passed out beside him, bloodstains on the front of his t-shirt and the side of his face.

He frowned even deeper and tried to remember what had happened last night, wondering if they had had a huge argument or something. He turned to Jackson and shook him gently, scared at his sudden bout of amnesia.

'Jackson? Jackson?' he croaked, his throat in agony.

Jackson slowly opened his eyes and moaned.

'Ugh…Aaron…what time is it?' he whined.

Aaron looked at Jackson's watch and cursed angrily.

'Shit! It's half two! How the Hell did we sleep in that late?' he snapped, jumping off the bed and running to his wardrobe to grab some work clothes. It was then that he noticed the bandages on his wrist and he saw the purple shadows underneath his eyes in his newly cracked mirror. He slowed down and turned to face Jackson, a fearful look in his eyes.

'What did I do?' he asked softly.

Jackson sat up slowly and looked at Aaron unsurely.

'Just got a bit upset is all. Nothing major.'

'Over what?' he asked, even though the memories of the night before were slowly coming back to him.

Jackson didn't meet his eyes and picked at the sleeve of his t-shirt.

'I don't know mate.' He lied.

Aaron frowned and swallowed hard, knowing that it had to do with Adam and Jackson.

'Did I hurt you or Paddy?' he mumbled, looking at the blood on the side of Jackson's head.

Jackson quickly shook his head and smiled.

'No… this is yours.'

Aaron nodded and leaned against the wall, breathing deeply.

'Am I sick Jay?'

Jackson swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head, forcing a smile.

'No but that's what Paddy told Cain so you best practice some sniffling for when you go to work tomorrow!'

X X X

Jackson sat in his van and cried his eyes out.

He couldn't do it; he couldn't leave Aaron. He knew that it was selfish and he knew that he'd end up hurting in the end anyway but the teen made him feel… he just made him feel everything. Last night had been a challenge but he had felt a burning passion for him that he had never felt before in his life. He had felt as though he had to protect Aaron. He had enjoyed being needed…

Maybe he was the sick one.

X X X

Aaron pulled on his overalls and made his way over to the garage, deciding he best help Cain lock up. He covered the bandages on his wrist with a long sleeved t-shirt and off he trot.

He popped into Viv's to get some coffee and cakes for Cain and Ryan so maybe they would hate him a little less for pulling a sickie.

He nodded at Hazel and plopped himself down at the counter.

'Two cream cakes and two coffee's to go. Please.' He ordered.

Hazel smiled and shook her head.

'Jackson hates the cream cakes, prefers the Lady Fingers so he does. I suppose it always a bit obvious that he liked the lads now that I think about it.' She chuckled as she bustled about making the coffees.

'Its not for Jackson. Two cream cakes, like I said. Please.' He snapped, rolling his eyes impatiently.

'Oh, for Adam is it?' Hazel retorted, throwing Aaron a cold look.

Aaron bit back his retort and gave Hazel his most forced smile.

'No actually, they're for Cain and Ryan, not that it should matter who the bloody Hell I decide to buy food for!' he hissed.

Hazel smiled happily and handed Aaron his buns and coffees.

'Just checking, cant have you messing my boy now can I?' she said cheerfully.

'Whatever.' He growled, throwing a five-pound note down on the counter.

'You're welcome!' Hazel sang, knowing full well that she was winding him up.

X X X

Cain looked up in surprise as Aaron made his way into the garage. Ryan took the coffees from his hands and smiled delightedly.

'Ooh cheers mate!' he exclaimed, taking a huge, happy bite out his bun.

Cain raised his eyebrows and leaned back against the car he was working on.

'What are you doing here? Paddy said you were desperately sick, highly contagious, said I mightn't see you for the week.' Cain snapped.

Aaron rolled his eyes and handed his uncle his peace offerings.

'I miraculously recovered.' He growled, setting himself down on a toolbox.

Ryan shook his head and squinted.

'Nah, I doubt it, you look awful.' He said through a mouthful of food.

Cain looked at Aaron and silently agreed.

Aaron shrugged and started picking at a loose thread on his t-shirt.

'Just a bit tired is all. Sorry I didn't show up today.' He mumbled.

Cain nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

'You're alright. You can do a late shift for me tonight. Declan Macey is dropping two of his cars down at six. You can work on them until about nine to make up for it, eh?'

Aaron nodded quickly, relieved that he was being forgiven so easily.

Ryan shook his head and finished off the last of his bun.

'No, I'll do it Cain. I need the over time and Aaron needs the beauty sleep.' Ryan announced.

'Thanks.' Aaron mumbled shyly.

Cain looked between the two with raised eyebrows.

'Is there something going on between you two?' he demanded.

Ryan laughed and shook his head.

'Aaron wishes…or maybe he doesn't. How is 'Buff Builder' these days?' he teased.

As if on cue, Jackson stuck his head around the garage door.

'Is that you Ryan I hear talking about me?' he joked, batting his eyelashes at him. Ryan chuckled and hopped up from his seat.

'Here Madame, have my seat.'

Jackson rolled his eyes and then turned to Aaron.

'I thought you were spending the day at home?' he asked, noting that Aaron had his arms covered up.

Aaron glared up at Jackson.

'That's what I thought you were doing too, but I came out of me shower and you had magically disappeared.' He snapped.

Jackson sighed and tried to ignore the fact that Cain and Ryan were trying very hard to look like they weren't listening.

'Yeah sorry mate, I had to just tie up a few loose ends on another job.'

'I saw you.' Aaron hissed.

Jackson felt a small blush creep across his cheeks and nodded slowly.

'Right…well, when you're finished up here, we'll go to Hotten for dinner, yeah?' he offered.

Aaron bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders.

'Fine but I don't know what time I'm finished at.' He lied.

'Now.' Cain called over, winking at Jackson.

Jackson gave the slightest tilt of his head to acknowledge his thanks.

'Come on then Grumpy, we'll get you cleaned for a night on the town!'

X X X

'Indian or Italian?' Jackson asked.

'I don't care.'

'Curry or pizza?'

'I don't care.'

'Steak or burger?'

'Jackson.' Aaron warned.

'Curry it is then.'

'No I want a burger.' Aaron decided.

Jackson smiled to himself, knowing his trick would work.

'All right, lets go, my treat, hot stuff!' he chuckled, hopping out of the van.

Aaron smiled and shook his head fondly, climbing out after Jackson.

'You feeling better?' Jackson asked, slipping his hand into Aaron's.

Aaron looked up and down the deserted street, just making sure.

'Yeah…I'm sorry.' He whispered.

Jackson frowned and rolled his eyes.

'What for? For having a bit of a tantrum? We all have them.' Jackson assured him.

Aaron shook his head.

'You don't.' he pointed out.

Jackson nodded in agreement.

'No I don't, instead I bury away all me emotions until they all come out in a great big gushing river like they did in the van today.' He said quietly.

Aaron squeezed his hand sympathetically and smiled.

'Better than throwing a fit like I did mate, believe me.'

X X X

Adam made his way up the path to Smithy Cottage, unsure of what he was doing or what he was going to do. He knocked on the door and his breath, scared of what was awaiting him when the door opened, or rather who.

To his surprise and relief, it was Paddy who answered.

'All right Paddy? Aaron in by any chance?' he asked, trying to act as though everything was normal.

Paddy looked at him sadly and shook his head.

'No mate, he's off out with Jackson.' He explained.

Adam nodded and swallowed his disappointment.

'Okay… well, tell him I called, yeah?' he asked.

Paddy shook his head and gave Adam a cold look.

'No, sorry, I can't do that and I think you need to stay away from here, away from him. He's not well Adam and he's not coping with this whole love triangle thing very well. Jackson may not be the love of his life but he's stable and loving and generous and a lot more than you'll ever be, so why don't you go back off to your gorgeous, loaded, foolish girlfriend and leave our Aaron alone, right?'

Adam frowned.

'What do you mean he's not well?' he asked worriedly.

Paddy rolled his eyes, a habit he'd picked up from Aaron.

'When has he ever been the most mentally sound, eh? Just leave him be mate. Please.'

X X X

Aaron kissed Jackson hungrily, pushing him back up against the door of Smithy Cottage, his hands exploring the front of his body. Jackson grinned into the kiss and slowly broke away.

'I have to go home Aaron…' he mumbled breathlessly.

Aaron frowned and brushed his lips against Jackson's cheek and chin, looking disappointed.

'No mate, c'mon…stay…' he whispered.

Jackson was about to answer when the door of the kitchen opened. Aaron stepped away from Jackson and glared at Paddy.

'What do you want?' he snapped.

'Adam's in the kitchen. He insisted on staying. I tried getting rid of him, honest.'

Aaron paled a little and shook his head.

'Well you obviously didn't try hard enough, did you?' he growled.

Paddy looked between Aaron and Jackson and shrugged his shoulders.

'I didn't know what to do. He's such a nice lad.'

Jackson bit his lip and took a step towards the kitchen.

'I'll deal with this.'

X X X

Adam frowned at Jackson and shook his head.

'What? Is Aaron unavailable?' he snapped.

Jackson closed the kitchen door behind him and looked at Adam, a cold look in his usually warm, brown eyes.

'Adam, mate, I know what you're going through believe me-' he started to say but Adam shook his head.

'Just get me Aaron. I'm here to do you a favour Jackson, just give me two seconds with him. Please.'

X X X

Aaron leaned against the wall and watched Adam suspiciously.

'Well? What is it you have to say?' he demanded.

Adam cleared his throat and gave Aaron lopsided grin.

'You were right mate. Now that Scarlett's home I've no interest in you. I don't know what was going through me head when I kissed you, when I told you I loved you. I do love you Aaron, just not in the way you think I do.' He explained.

Aaron ignored the stabbing pains tearing through his heart and nodded.

'Right…' he mumbled.

Adam grinned widely.

'So, I was hoping we could go back to being mates? Forget about all this silliness?' he asked hopefully.

Aaron nodded again and bit his lip against the tears.

'You really love her more than me?' he croaked.

Adam shrugged his shoulders.

'I love you both, just in different ways.'

Aaron closed his eyes slowly, allowing a tear to slide down his cheek. Adam swallowed the lump in his throat and laughed awkwardly.

'I feel like a right muppet now.' He chuckled.

'Me too.' Aaron said slowly, a small laugh escaping.

Adam smiled and draped his arm around Aaron's shoulders.

'What a pair we are, eh?' he snorted.

Aaron nodded and leaned against Adam.

'Two twats.'

'Three if you're including Jackson.' Adam pointed out.

Aaron winced. Why does he always forget about Jackson?

X X X

Jackson kissed Aaron's bare shoulder and rolled off of him, a contented smile on his face. He flopped down on the bed beside him, feeling better than he had in weeks.

'I love you mate…' Jackson yawned, snuggling against Aaron.

'Me too.' Aaron mumbled in what he hoped was a convincing proclamation.

X X X

Adam sat on his bed and cried.

Lying to Aaron was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

He knew he'd done the right thing for Aaron but he couldn't help but feel like he'd done himself over. Like he'd have to suffer now because he hadn't been brave enough to break up with Scarlett and prove to Aaron that he loved him.

Holly carefully opened his door and sighed.

'I knew I could hear blubbering. What's up?' she asked, stepping inside slowly.

'Get out Holly.' He snapped, not wanting to let his little sister to see him in such a state.

Holly rolled her eyes and sat down at the end of his bed.

'It's about Aaron isn't it? I heard Mum and Dad talking about it downstairs. I didn't know you…you know…I wouldn't of gone out with him if I did.' She promised.

Adam groaned and put his head in his hands.

'How did I get into this mess Holly? Why did I let this happen?' he whimpered.

Holly shrugged and draped an arm around her brother.

'It just happens. At least now you understand what Aaron went through…' she whispered.

Adam nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at Holly, his eyes searching hers.

'How did you feel when you found out he was gay? Did you feel betrayed or…or what?' he gasped.

Holly shrugged again and offered Adam a comforting smile.

'I don't know. But Scarlett's more mature than I am so…she'd take it better.' Holly decided.

Adam nodded and exhaled heavily.

'Yeah…yeah she would…' he whispered, deciding to leave out the fact that Holly and Aaron weren't in love like they supposedly were.

A/N: So, how do we think this is going? It's not too kind of like 'will he, wont he' is it? x


	5. Chapter 5

He's Never Going To Love You Like I Want To

Aaron sat on the cold bathroom floor and fingered the cool, metal blade softly, running his fingers up and down the length of it. He shivered at the smoothness of it and felt a sort of calmness wash over him. He rolled up the arm of his jumper and held his wrist out in front of him. He looked at his already scarred skin and lowered the blade down on the raw, pink skin. He inhaled deeply as the blade sliced his skin up, blood slowly sluicing out. He squeezed his eyes shut and dragged it across his vein diagonally, knowing immediately that he had cut deep enough. His hand shook as he dropped the blade against the tiles beneath him.

This was it. He could feel it.

X X X

'Aaron?'

'Aaron?'

Paddy sighed and started to make his way up the stairs when Rhona appeared at the door.

'Paddy? Paddy, come on, he'll be fine. It's half two! We're going to be late!' she snapped, pulling her jacket on.

Paddy looked at her uncertainly and then nodded.

'Yeah, you're right. Poor lad probably just needed a break from it all.' he decided, trying to convince himself.

Rhona smiled reassuringly and made her way out the door.

'I'm heading out with Rhona, Aaron. If you need anything, just give me a call, yeah?' he shouted as he sprinted down the stairs, zipping up his jacket.

He paused at the door and looked over his shoulder, a strange feeling settled in his stomach.

'PADDY!'

Paddy shook his head and answered Rhona's call.

X X X

Aaron felt his eyes flutter shut as the numbing pain spread through out his body. He couldn't understand why Adam didn't love him. He couldn't understand why he would have caused so much trouble for someone he didn't want… And those kisses…oh God, those kisses…they had been magical… They were something Aaron had never experienced in his life. Jackson's kisses were loving and deep and meaningful, even in the heat of the moment. But Adam's… Adam's were different, Adam's were trying to tell him something, something important and it was only now that Aaron realized what that was; that they loved each other.

X X X

Jackson skipped over to the garage, a new spring in his step ever since Adam had decided to back off. He walked up through the yard in to the warehouse. Ryan looked up and smiled at Jackson.

'Two visits in the space of four days? Aren't I the lucky one!' he teased, wriggling his fingers at Jackson.

Jackson winked at him and stepped inside, looking around.

'Aaron on his lunch break?' he asked.

Ryan rolled his eyes and shook his head.

'God knows. Came in today with a great, big moody head on him and sulked until about half twelve and then he told Cain that he was going for some tea and we haven't seen him since.' Ryan announced.

Jackson frowned and looked at his watch. It was now three o'clock.

'And Cain, he doesn't care?' Jackson asked in surprise.

'Oh no, he does. He's gone off to find him now. Don't worry, probably just pulling one of his many strops.' Ryan said reassuringly.

Jackson nodded and sat down on the stool beside where Ryan was working.

'You want me to keep you company?' he offered.

Ryan winked at him and nodded.

'Only if you think you can keep your hands off me.'

X X X

Aaron's head lolled back against the bath behind him, his eyes rolling into the back of his sockets.

'Adam…' he croaked.

X X X

Adam sighed and pushed his sandwich away, standing up from the dinner table and pulling his jacket on.

'And where are you going?' Scarlett asked, frowning slightly.

Adam shook his head and pulled the door open.

'There's something I've got to do.'

'I'll come with you!' she announced brightly.

Adam sighed heavily and looked at Scarlett exasperatedly.

'No. Just…just stay where you are babes, I'll send you a text in a bit.'

X X X

Jackson wiped a tear away from his eye and shook his head.

'And what happened next?' he gasped.

Ryan tried desperately to stop his hysterical laughter and looked up at Jackson, tears pouring down his cheeks.

'And then…then…I goes 'Oi, Cain that ain't going to work, you've got to rub it length ways…' he shrieked, burying his head back in his arms.

Jackson laughed and waited for Ryan to go on.

'And…and…and…Aaron went bright red and threw his wrench on the ground and Cain goes 'Just keep yer head down and get on with it.' And then I goes… 'That's what Jackson said!' he roared.

Jackson burst out laughing and shook his head.

'Aw Ryan…you should really give him a break mate…' he chuckled.

Ryan nodded.

'I know but…aw God, if you saw the fights those two have…they're priceless!' he exclaimed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

'Mate?'

Jackson and Ryan both looked up to see Adam Barton at the door, a strange look on his face.

'Have you seen Aaron?'

Ryan shook his head and checked his watch.

'Nope, not for about three and a half hours now.' He said, shrugging shoulders.

Adam looked at Jackson hopefully. Jackson shook his head stiffly. Adam nodded dejectedly and looked at Jackson desperately.

'Mate…would you see if he's at Smithy? I've got the weirdest feeling.' He asked softly.

Jackson wanted to say no, wanted to tell him to fuck off but he couldn't because he himself had had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach for a good while now.

'All right, hold on, we'll go together.

X X X

Paddy stopped the car and looked at Rhona apologetically.

'I'm sorry, there's something not right.'

Rhona rolled her eyes.

'Paddy, he's _fine_! You need to relax and trust him, he's an adult after all.' She rationalized.

Paddy shook his head and did a u-turn in the middle of the highway.

'No, you see he's not an adult, he's only eighteen and he's going through a really hard time right now Rhona, I thought you of all people would know what it's like to have two people fall in love with you.'

Rhona fell silent and gave Paddy guilty look.

'Fine. But when he's all right and your mother's instinct turns out to be wrong, you've got a lot of making up to do mister…'

X X X

Jackson pulled the door open and stepped inside, an eerie feeling washing over him.

'Aaron? Aaron?' he called, heading up the stairs, closely followed by Adam.

Jackson made his way into the bedroom when he saw a pool of blood coming out from underneath the bathroom door. He felt his knees buckle and he grabbed the wall beside him for support.

'Adam.' He whispered, staring at the slowly spreading stain.

Adam followed his gaze and gasped when he saw it.

'Oh Jesus no!' he groaned, racing for the door, pulling it open with such force Jackson was surprised it didn't fly off the hinges.

'Aaron! Oh Aaron, no, no, no, no…' he sobbed, grabbing the lifeless teen and dragging him out onto the landing.

Jackson fell to his knees beside Aaron and looked down at his white, bloodless face and burst into tears.

Adam glared at him and pointed at the still oozing gash in his wrist.

'Take off your shirt and press it against it. Now!' he snapped, grabbing his mobile and dialling 999.

'Hi, I need an ambulance. Smithy Cottage, Emmerdale. My friend's slit his wrists. I don't know. I don't know, he's unconscious. Yeah, he's got a pulse but it's weak. Please, hurry.' He begged before hanging up.

Jackson pressed his shirt against the wound and continued to look at Aaron in horror.

'Why would he do this?' he demanded, thinking back to how they had made love last night.

Adam ignored him and started to gently slap Aaron's cheeks, giving the younger man a shake here and there.

'Please, mate, please…don't do this…Not now…please…I lied Aaron, I take it all back…just wake up… you've got to wake up…' he mumbled, forgetting that Jackson was right there beside him, watching on in shock.

'You love him.' Jackson whispered.

Adam looked up and held Jackson's gaze briefly.

'Of course I bloody do, how couldn't I?' he challenged.

Jackson shook his head and looked away.

'You had your chance Adam and you blew it. It's my turn now.' He said softly and dangerously.

Adam nodded and looked back down at Aaron's expressionless face.

'I know mate…believe me…I know.'

X X X

Aaron wearily opened his eyes, his entire body aching.

'Uhh…'he groaned, moving his stiff neck slowly.

'Pillock.' Adam whispered tearfully, looking up from his seat by the side of his bed.

'Why…' he croaked, closing his eyes again, unable to believe that he was still alive.

'Why what? Why are you such a twat? I don't know, doctors said it was a medical mystery.' Adam teased.

Aaron shook his head slowly and lay back against his pillows, frustrated by the unfairness of it all.

'Where's Paddy?' he asked softly.

Adam smiled.

'He's gone to get us something to eat. Poor thing's after dropping about a stone these past three days.' He chuckled.

Aaron looked at Adam in surprise.

'Three days? Did I nearly…' he started to ask but stopped himself. 'Where's Jackson?' he mumbled.

Adam shifted in his seat and shrugged.

'I don't know mate. We're not exactly seeing eye to eye at the moment so I told him he could bugger off while I visited and that Paddy could text him when I was gone.' He chuckled.

Aaron half smiled and closed his eyes again, exhausted.

'Don't go…'

X X X

Chaz paced up and down the length of the small bedroom, waiting for Aaron to wake up from his slumber. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, so untroubled.

'I'm going to bloody kill him Paddy… Why? Why would he do this?' she snapped.

Paddy looked up at her sympathetically.

'Chaz, telling a suicidal person that you're going to kill them is like…rubbing salt in the wound…just…be gentle, yeah?' he pleaded.

Rhona rolled her eyes and looked up at Chaz.

'Just keep your mouth shut until he tells us what's wrong.' She advised.

Chaz raised her eyebrows.

'Oi, excuse me but who the hell do you think you are? Do you think Aaron gives a shit if you're here or not?' she demanded.

'Whoa! Come on Chaz, relax!' Adam said quickly, trying to defuse the situation.

Chaz turned to glare at him.

'Don't get me started on you farm boy! All you've been doing lately is messing with his already messed up head! Have you got a problem making decisions? Cause it's quite easy. Boys or girls, which one do you like?' she exclaimed.

Jackson chuckled, enjoying the discomfort on Adam's face.

'What are you laughing at Jackson? If you'd kept an eye on him, this wouldn't have happened!' Adam growled.

The smile vanished from Jackson's face and he shook his head.

'Don't try to blame me mate. I've done nothing wrong.' He announced.

'You're supposed to be his boyfriend and you didn't even realize that he was suicidal!' Adam roared.

'And _you're_ supposed to be his best mate but instead you fucked around with his head while you hedged your bets, waiting to see who tickled your fancy!' Jackson snapped.

'Aye!' Cain growled, giving Adam the evil eye.

'Look, let's stop trying to place the blame.' Paddy begged.

'Why, feeling guilty Paddy?' Cain demanded.

'Don't try and blame Paddy for this!' Chaz argued.

'No, let's blame his slapper of a mother instead!' Cain started to shout.

'No. Let's just blame me. It was my decision.'

Everyone turned around to look at Aaron who was sitting up, fully awake now.

'No Aaron, no one's going to blame you.' Paddy said softly, instantly at his side.

'Yeah babes, it wasn't you're fault…I just wish you'd spoken to someone, you know?' Chaz simpered, standing at the other side of the bed.

Aaron sighed heavily and looked between the two impatiently.

'Who could I have spoken to?' he demanded softly.

'Jackson.' Cain snapped.

Aaron shook his head.

'No, I couldn't. I couldn't speak to Jackson, or you Paddy or Adam. None of yez.'

'That's not fair Aaron, we've a_lways_ been there when you needed us.' Jackson interjected.

'Jackson, I asked you to leave. I told you, I told I couldn't do this. I can't do the whole normal thing!' he argued, feeling tears fill his eyes.

Paddy bit his lip and looked at Aaron anxiously.

'No one's asking you to be normal Aaron…just…just happy.'

Aaron shook his head violently and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

'None of yez understands…you don't get it…'

'How can we understand if you won't tell us what's wrong?' Adam pleaded.

'Please, just leave me alone. _Please._'

X X X

Jackson watched as Aaron dressed himself, his blue eyes staring off into the distance as he pulled on his hoody.

'You all right Aaron?' he asked gently.

Aaron snapped back to reality and glared at Jackson.

'Yup. Don't worry, they've taken anything sharp or anything I could hang myself with out of the room.' He growled.

Jackson rolled his eyes and took a step closer, cautious in case Aaron flipped out.

'No, are _you_ okay? See…I used to have this mate called Aaron…and he looked just like you just not as sad.' He said softly.

Aaron's squared shoulders drooped slightly and he bit his lip, looking at Jackson unsurely.

'Just a mate?' he whispered.

Jackson shook his head and smiled shyly.

'No. Boyfriend.' He breathed, closing the space between them but Aaron took a step back, his miserable eyes filling with tears.

'Because I could really do with a mate right now.' He gasped.

Jackson frowned and looked at Aaron anxiously.

'What about a boyfriend?' he asked.

Aaron shook his head and looked at Jackson apologetically.

'I really need a friend Jay.' He insisted gently.

Jackson frowned even deeper and felt his brown orbs filling.

'What about me? What do I get?' he demanded, unable to keep the anger from his voice.

Aaron shrugged and wiped his eyes with the back of his bandaged wrists.

'You get me.'

'Do you even love me Aaron? Like, really love me?' he growled, hatred starting to cloud his eyes.

Aaron burst into a fresh set of tears and shook his head slowly.

'I'm so sorry Jackson. But I don't know how to love you. I don't know how to love anyone!' he admitted brokenly.

Jackson shook his head and took a few steps back, his head reeling.

'So, you lied to me? You just _pretended_ to love me? While off you went snogging Adam in the hay barn? I forgave you Aaron! I never got angry or threatened to break up with you! I just let it all slide because I honestly thought you loved me!' he snapped, his arms gesturing wildly.

'No Jay…I didn't pretend…I tried! I tried to love you but I couldn't-'

'Why would you stay with me if I'm so damn unlovable?' he hissed, pulling on his jacket.

'No, don't go Jay! I need you! You've got me!'

'It's over Aaron…Off you go, run off to Adam, see if I care mate. I want nothing to do you with you anymore.' He growled, slamming the door behind him.

'YOU'VE GOT ME!' Aaron roared, pelting out of the room after Jackson.

Jackson shook his head and continued going, ignoring the stares from the nurses and other visitors.

'Jackson! Jackson, please don't do this! Don't leave me!' He sobbed, breaking down in the middle of the corridor.

Jackson paused and turned slowly, looking at the pitiful that was his boyfriend begging.

'Please, please…I'll learn how to do it…I promise! You just need to show me how…Please…please…' he gasped.

Jackson looked at him, his own eyes swimming.

'No Aaron, I love you but I deserve someone who loves me back and it hurts that that person can't be you but I'm not hanging around to watch you kill yourself. You need help mate, you really do.' He gasped, tears sliding down his cheeks.

Aaron frowned deeply and tried to stop his snivelling but he couldn't, what Jackson said hurt too much.

'Why won't you help me?' he demanded shakily.

'BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK! _NOTHING EVER WORKS!_' he roared before turning on his heel and marching out of the hospital, out of Aaron's life.

Epilogue

Aaron sighed and rolled over in his bed.

'I can't sleep.' He whispered.

'Well I can so shut it…' came the snarky reply.

Aaron chuckled and draped his arm across his boyfriend.

'I keep seeing him.'

Adam rolled his eyes and glared at Aaron.

'Aaron, you've got to stop this. It's over between you two, all right? It's been how long eight, nine months? He wanted nothing to do with you and good riddance He finally proved he's more of a Hitler than a Gandhi anyway.' He spat vehemently, the mention of Jackson making his blood boil.

Aaron smirked and kissed Adam's lips happily.

'I knew that would wake you up.' He giggled.

Adam glared at him and was about to wrestle an apology out of him when the bedroom door opened. Moira stepped in, an exhausted look on her face.

'Aaron, Paddy's on the phone for you.' She muttered, handing the phone to Adam.

'Thanks Mum. You look knackered,' he noted.

Moira forced a grin and glared at Adam.

'Try and keep the noise levels down, yeah?' before closing the door.

Aaron nodded and held the phone up to his ear.

'You all right Pads?' He asked as Adam snaked an arm around his waist and started kissing his neck.

'Aaron…um…listen…' Paddy sighed.

Aaron rolled his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Adam's sweet kisses being peppered all over his body.

'Go on, I'm listening.' He announced.

'Right…well, I know you're at Adam's but I was wondering if maybe you could find a way to get down here…' he mumbled.

Aaron frowned, sensing there was something wrong.

'Why?' he demanded.

Adam looked up at Aaron in concern and raised an eyebrow.

'Because…well…you've got a visitor.' He answered vaguely.

Aaron tried his hardest not to scream.

'Who Paddy?' he growled.

'Uh…well…am…Jackson.'

Aaron felt his heart stop for a second and a warm feeling spread throughout his body.

'I'll…I'm on me way.'

Críochnaithe!

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it and thank you all for all the wonderful comments!


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